Oh god, I am so nervous about the auditions for this play. What happens if I don't get in? Because unfortunatly, there is that possiblity. You know what, I know what'll happen if I don't get in, I'll fall into that same loop of depression that happened last year spring time and sophomore year before that.
I don't wanna go through that again. It's just plain not fun.
I wish I could just go up to Mr Ferriera and Ms Logan and tell them all of this, tell them that I depend on drama for happiness. Nothing makes me happier than performing. Making people laugh, cry, smile, think, whatever, it's amazing.
I think that I was born to be an entertainer in some sort of way. School next year at Fitchburg (which is probably where I'll end up) will be great for me. I'll be able to be a part of the drama and dance clubs and I'll be learning for my career- making television programs, which provide entertainment.
Now, I've done my research. I've read this play through twice and I want it so bad. Hell, I would be OVERJOYED by playing Gay, the drunk actress who has three lines and then passes out. That'd be awesome, because at least that way I'd be getting to act. Put me on the stage and let me shine, that's been my moto for quite a while now.
One thing that really bothers me is the fact that they're going to be type casting up the wahzoo. I don't know what my typecasted role is. The sweet girl? Maybe. Oh god, there's also the fact there's quite a few new people. That makes me tremendously nervous. I have no idea what to expect out of them, you know?
I have feeling that this'll be a terrible audition for me, too. I have the fucking flu for crying outlouded and I have to go deliever a monolouge? I don't know... I don't know. I changed my audition piece today, I can't believe that I waited so long to decide. After all, the Valentine's Day one doesn't work any more.
Ugh, I have a fever again. It went down for a little bit and now it spiked up again. Fuck. I'm gonna be bundled up all over tomorrow during school. Should be interesting.